Good evening, and wishing everyone a great weekend.
First of all, here's another update. I have received the edited manuscript. Again, thanks, Jill, for all your hard work. (And a special thanks for sending the manuscript back two days earlier.) I now have just over two weeks, until September 29th, to review all the corrections and prepare the manuscript for proofreading.
Here's some additional feedback I received. Jill pointed out that calling Orthodox Jews blackshirts (meaning fascists) within living memory of the Second World War would be a very serious issue. That, however, was the reality. Believe it or not, the animosity was such that my friends and I often used that very word, much to the dismay of our grandparents. But good luck explaining that to every reader, which I hope will be many. So I had to replace blackshirts with black hats, another pejorative we often used. The reference to an ethnic slur (black hats -> black butts) is lost in translation, which, in a way, is for the better.
Now, to a more serious matter. The Israeli-Arab conflict. Jill was surprised there was not a word about it, or about the peace process that was then ongoing. The civics teacher (Margalit) talks about identity conflict, but doesn't say a word about the recent peace with Jordan or about peace negotiations with the PLO. Not that it wasn't a divisive topic. It was. We discussed it in class and more than once. (I remember a girl storming out of the classroom in tears. 20 years later, when Canada overwhelmingly voted for Trudeau, I could feel what her pain was like.) Maybe, if I had made Vadim and Louise classmates (an idea that came way too late), then it would have been one of the scenes. But with the plotline the way it is, I think I had more than enough political discussions in the story.
And another thing. We know what happened in the following 30 years. They don't. Adding a scene where their friends, classmates, or perhaps parents talk about the peace process would inevitably create an "I told you so" attitude. All it takes is for one character (Maxim? Karmit? Louise's mother?) to mention that this wouldn't end well, and perhaps add that what Russian forces were doing in the Chechen-held region back then, in 1995, the IDF would eventually have to do in Gaza. I'd rather leave that out.
Of course, I won't be able to explain this to each and every reader who is upset that I left out the Israeli-Arab conflict. But, I guess, they'll have to accept it as a given: It's been left out. Instead, they might as well do some math and figure out that Louise's mother is due to have her baby right on the day Rabin was assassinated, November 4, 1995. Yes, I did that on purpose.
Have a great weekend, everyone.
Cheers,
Leonard.